Sunday, February 04, 2007

Whatever, really, Siraj, dude,

Why doesn’t Bush just doesn't kick these knuckleheads out of the United States, already?

How many are up there again? –A few hundred grunts in the Smokies and you say a million more offshore? Mang, tell you what: open hunting season early and the problem will take care of itself. Then drop a nuke on Ascension Island, Venezuela, Tortugas or wherever, and Voilà, GAME OVER: America wins; we all go back to driving Hummers.

How long these fucktards want to boycott the United States? They better be careful because by the time they're ready to take our money again, maybe we'll be getting our zip from hydrogen.

But in the likely event we continue to drag our asses on alternate energy solutions, then my assessment:

The longer these Sherpa guys stay in the Appalachian Mountains, the more inclined ordinary citizens –like myself, perhaps– will feel no compunction about taking matters into their own hands.

A well-regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, and all that, is but just one indignant news item away from precipitating in the streets, AS I'M SURE YOU ALREADY KNOW.

Of course, if Lowell really is the mastermind behind this conflict, then he probably wants the incursion to last as long as humanly possible. I mean, that's what people are saying, anyway. But doesn't a prolonged war actually fuel both parties' arguments and provide each with the further support, which they both need to mount new and future missions, blah blah blah. I think everybody understands that, y'know: nothing like a healthy level of conflict to keep your cheeks pink.

In a nutshell: WE'RE SCREWED.

Of course, my heritage is Jewish. Hey, it's not my war, I just have a bulls-eye tattooed to my heart. It kind of gets everybody confused. So, we're sort of in the middle, but not really. Somehow Jews are always at the center of things, and also always at the periphery. Some people think this kind of dualism is interesting. I say if someone finds it so find it so interesting WHY NOT JOIN THE ISRAELI ARMY?

I guess that's what it means to be THE CHOSEN PEOPLE. My whole life has been a balancing act. Seriously, though, I'd rather be surfing than at Synagogue. It's funny, somehow Judaism has taught me a lot about surfing, and reciprocally surfing has informed much of my Judaism. In a way, surfing is my synagogue, and the ocean my temple.

On the other hand, while I think Lowell is a nut case, he probably has Nazi tendencies if not actually a Nazi; I nevertheless see his political point regarding Globalization and this Swiss Cheese model on which we've composed our immigration policies. Just look at the Mexicans, man. We need that wall. I mean, I wouldnt stop a mathematician from tunneling into the country, but in this great country of United States, do we really need another gardener? So, yeah ideologically speaking, Lowell's a pretty scary guy. But politically speaking, he makes perfect sense to an unemployed Joe like myself.

Yeah, I’m not sure that folks with last names like 'Friedman' fit into PURE's new world order, but ask anyone, and most people would tell you 'BING FOR PRESIDENT'.

Oh sure, Lowell and co. might actually be the kooky kind of Zionist Christians who support Israel, but I kind of doubt it. And even so, you and I both know that that kind of brotherly love only comes from evangelists trying to edge the world closer to rapture and the furkin' Apocalypse.

btw, I have a reoccurring fantasy where John Hagee and all the Christians for Israel actually succeed in bringing about end times, and then just as it's getting started ALL THE JEWS GET RAPTURED HALLELUJAH –and Hagee is left holding his bible going, "Wha?"


But seriously, yeah, even if you take Israel out of the equation, and I don’t think you can, you’d be naive if you did, I’m worried over how the OIC and OPEC have leveraged the sympathy gained by India, Indonesia and Malaysia after 7/27, for their own political and economic needs. How very much they seem to enjoy tilting the world off its axis.

Why haven’t the Europeans done anything? I don’t get it. HOLYGEEZ, someone in the free world has to put these barbarians back in their place!

Oh yeah, does a day not go by that either the Mayor or the Municipal Commissioner of Mumbai do not each invoke the phrase 7/27 on an international news platform. The two of them sound like hucksters vying with each other for the MAYHEM ‘brand’. What did either of them do, anyway, but show up for work on the day a group of disgruntled white guys slammed a passenger jet into downtown Mumbai and lit the streets with a fireball. Now, they both have agents, marketing consultants and hope to rake in millions in speaker fees.

Fortunately, I don't care, but I sure like pointing out all the hypocrisy in the world and complaining about it.

Eh, by the way, pity they canceled this year's Super Bowl. I think it would have gone a long way to lifting everyone’s spirits.

The Jasp

–side order of fries with that please–