Sunday, December 17, 2006

Hip Hop Foo ray, the rag heads blew up the U.S. Embassy. If it wasn't war before, it is now.

Either way, I don't give a damn anymore. I was laid off this morning.

The country is down to its last eight to twelve more weeks of oil and once the US Strategic Petroleum Reserves run dry, that's it. Throw in the the air of IMPENDING DOOM and there is simply no further demand for someone who writes however amazingly turgid ad copy for stuff like 'Super Concentrated Fuel Injector Cleaner' and other useless fuel additives.

Word is that come February, when the last Hummer farts out its final oil plume, the last working 48-inch flat screen in America will simultaneously kiss black and that will be that.

Thank God there's always the Canadian power grid to sponge off of, otherwise people would already be killing each other in the streets over Energizer Triple A batteries.

I thought New York City was supposed to be immune to recession, but it's not. People just go broke and evacuate, which in turns creates vacancies for new rich people who come in, buy at a bargain and while the weekends away antiquing. What happened to the last tenant, you may ask? You don't want to know: The American Dream killed him. So, yes, theoretically the city is immune to recession. But you, me and everyone else who lives here is still pretty much susceptible to getting FUCKED.

Hahahaha!

No, it's not funny, but c'mon you got to laugh.

I guess I better use my time during unemployment to figure out how to use the words like 'Eco' and 'Hydrogen' to make snappy taglines.

ECO-FRIENDLY HYDROGEN: TOMORROW'S FUEL TODAY!

Ah, I think I've got it already.

Pfft. I'm no scientist, but mark my words, no sooner than we've converted to Hydrogen fueled vehicles, we're going to find out we've got a problem with automobile generated vapor trails blocking out the sun.

At least I’m not the only one who had a bad day. US authorities say they want to step up Saddam Hussein’s transfer to the Iraqi Government, which will no doubt result in his immediate execution. But what do I care what happens to Hussein? He was a bully.

And now Indonesia's ambassador to the UN has declared the diplomatic process with the United States, in regards to the request to secure and extradite Lowell and his associates, finished. So now what? The Indonesians are taking their toys and going home? Well, pick one: do you want Lowell or not?

In fact, Coalition member nations have begun recalling all diplomatic stragglers remaining in the US back to their countries of origin.

DON'T LET OUR FREEDOM OF SPEECH HIT YOU IN THE BACK OF YOUR ASSES ON THE WAY OUT, ASSCLOWNS.

Which is fine the way I figure it. I just feel bad that it's going to hurt an already ailing economy. What with the way that the U.N. is emptying out, it won't be long before all the New York strip clubs file for bankruptcy.

Bush btw has been designated a 'Global Crusader'. And Coalition leaders have given him, his wife and their two daughters just 48 hours to leave the United States or face a war.

You have to wonder:

A) Are they out of their frickin' minds?

B) What did Laura Bush ever to do to deserve this?

C)Why does everyone else in Washington get a free pass?

Good luck to W. finding new digs. Since I really can't afford to move anywhere else, the invasion will have to come to me.

Just thank God I'm not overseas.

Read about a group of European tourists, including some famous English DJ, had been arrested in India –in Goa. Article said they’ve all since been sequestered to destinations unknown in order to be interrogated regarding their participation in illegal Crusader Activities, like DANCING TO TECHNO, which apparently is now punishable by death in some parts of the world. –Siraj, any truth to that?

Oh yeah, btw, Siraj, you asked about American Muslims:

I think the only ones who are pissed belong to the most recent wave of immigrants, –mostly scholars and academics and technologists– because the jobs they came here for have since been outsourced to the very same third world countries they fled from. Gotta love Globalization, the world is flat and all that.

Hey, if you wanted to be a computer programmer, then why didn't you stay in India?

Speaking of Lowell, said it before, I'll say it again: Crusader Dude may be a crazy, racist, Christian nazi psycho murderer, but that doesn’t mean that he’s necessarily wrong about some essential social truths. Just sayin'.

End of transmission–

Jasp Out