Friday, December 15, 2006

Hold up Siraj–

YOU ARE TOO FUNNY MANG!!

The barbarians are at the gate, bro, and you actually sound like they have a legitimate grievance. Well, um, I don't get it. Personally, I have a hard time swallowing the idea that this so-called 'War on Evil' is really about Evil at all. Not when all the talk about is about invading the US of A!

How insane can they be? Fucktards.

Look, Lowell is scum. But is it really worth the constipated effort just to capture one guy? 'Scuse me while I shit all over that idea. THEY'RE NOT GOING TO FIND HIM. Dude is hiding in a cave in the Appalachian Mountains.

If the Federal Government can't even locate him, and apparently he's camping at a day's driving distance from Washington DC, then he can't be found. And even if he weren’t in hiding, guys like him don't walk around name tags that read HELLO MY NAME IS ADOLPH HITLER.

Oh, if the could all only glow green, but as far as I can tell, we live in the year 2006 and the technology does not yet exist that can tell apart stupid Nazis from your average Apocryphal born again Christian.

And Question: Is all this political noise really just about Oliver Lowell? Is it? Cause I think maybe the rag heads are just fed up with yet another McDonald's, KFC or Starbucks forcing the local kebab shops out of business and into bankruptcy. So, duh, they're simply using the destruction of the Petronas Towers as an EXCUSE to smash the likes of Pizza Hut and Taco Bell into day old dust. And even if that's not the case, the truth is not too far from that scenario. It's certainly not a good time to be an unarmed YUM! Brands exec, that's for sure.

Granted, if it sounds absurd to go to war simply over the explosive growth of fat food outlets in Asia, then please tell the Indian Government that it's no less absurd an idea to suggest they'll drop an atomic warhead over Murphy, North Carolina because they think it will help drum Lowell out of the woods.

Siraj, my Lebanese-American friend, –is your allegiance is divided? Cause you being Muslim, I could understand if it was.

btw, have you noticed how the Saudis are slowly getting involved. You can’t get through a single day here without hearing one Saudi prince or another speak at length on TV about the crummy treatment Saudis receive from the United States.

All of 'em are profoundly resentful over the treatment of prisoners at Guantanamo Bay and Abu Ghraib. You hear 'em rattle on and on, blah blah blah, about how US refusal to evacuate Iraq is part of a larger plot by Washington –and Israel, of course– to weaken Islamic control of petroleum.

And of course they also resent the poor coverage of Saudi Arabia in western media, depicting the Sheiks as a bunch of OPEC whiners. Which begs the question, why are they guesting on Meet the Press, anyway? And HELLO, then why did they go and dump the dollar for the Euro? Who gives these cats advice? I don't get it.

The Saudis are lining up right along side with the Malaysians, the Indians, the Indonesians, the Pakistanis, Et al., because they all think Bush is in league with Lowell. Well, he probably is! Bush and Lowell are both born again Christians, so it is possible. But neither has called for wiping Israel off the map, like some of these other Mid East nuts we know.

And what do I think? Sure, Muslims specifically may have been the primary target of Lowell's 7/27 attack, but I don't think that the Saudis –or anyone else for that mater– now actually gives a damn whether Lowell gets caught or not. The countries targeted by the 7/27 attacks might have a real grievance, but the Saudis and others are simply so overwhelmingly resentful of U.S. support of Israel, that they're going to leverage the 7/27 for their own political agenda.

And that's not just American Jew talk, dude. The Kingdom in particular is inflamed over settlements in the West Bank. One guy said it was a "ruthless occupation of Palestinian territory." Boo hoo hoo fucking cry baby. Not a nation on the planet that didn't gain its territory via force, the Kingdom not excluded.

Screwball Islamic ideologists just get kookier by the day.

Besides, elements within the Saudi Arabian government are themselves directly responsible for the destruction of the WTC on September 11th. The imams launched a worldwide jihad against the US way of life back in 2001, and make no mistake it's not over yet. I'm convinced, all this Islamic angina because Ronald McDonald dared to hang out a shingle in Jeddah.

Funny thing is both Lowell and the Islamofascists want Uncle Sam to stop exporting US ingenuity overseas, so there is apparently some opportunity for agreement, at least on the issue of Globalization.

No doubt, Lowell is a bad apple, Siraj, but there's no evidence that he's done anything illegal. Not to mention that a lot of people actually agree with many of his ideological points. At the same time, Fox News delivers us daily reports of arrests throughout the Mid East of HUNDREDS of Christians, for merely attending a church service, or owning a Bible! Just think what they'd do to Jews!

So to think that Saudi troops trained by Northrop Grumman’s Virginia based Vinnell Corporation may be about to participate in a U.S. invasion goes beyond irony. That's as good as money good. No doubt they'll be flying F-15s, F-16s, AWACS and rolling in on tanks Uncle Sam delivered to Riyadh by only last year.

In fact, Fox reports that the United States has exported upwards of 5 billion dollars in arms to countries who have, since 7/27, become allied members of the Pan Moslem Coalition. The American public mow wants to know who authorized these arms deals –it's a SCANDAL– and they want to see HEADS ROLL. Who can blame 'em.

And yet, I think: Malaysia, India, Indonesia, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, Iran, the whole lot of 'em -does anyone really think they're actually going to be able to cooperate with one another?

Nah.

In the meantime, everything you may have heard about me is true:

I'm just one Star of David away from going all redneck back here in the States.

AND

–I'm The Way I Am Because I Rock–

The Jasp