Sunday, December 31, 2006


When the heaven is split asunder
And attentive to her Lord in fear,
And when the earth is spread out
And hath cast out all that was in her, and is empty
And attentive to her Lord in fear!

Thou, verily, O man, art working toward thy Lord
a work which thou wilt meet (in His presence).

Then whoso is given his account in his right hand
He truly will receive an easy reckoning
And will return unto his folk in joy.

But whoso is given his account behind his back,
He surely will invoke destruction
And be thrown to scorching fire.

He verily lived joyous with his folk,
He verily deemed that he would never return unto Allah.

Nay, but lo! his Lord is ever looking on him!
Oh, I swear by the afterglow of sunset,
And by the night and all that it enshroudeth,
And by the moon when she is at the full,
That ye shall journey on from plane to plane.

What aileth them, then, that they believe not
And, when the Qur'an is recited unto them, worship not Allah?
Nay, but those who disbelieve will deny;
And Allah knoweth best what they are hiding.
So give them tidings of a painful doom,
Save those who believe and do good works,
for theirs is a reward unfailing.

As I write this I'm sitting in a military base on the Venezuelan coast, surrounded by young men who want nothing more than to prove themselves worthy of martyrdom –and this news comes in. No doubt, Hussein was a monster, but I've yet to meet a person here who is happy about this:

December 30, 2006

Saddam Hussein, the former Iraqi president, has been hanged, Iraqi officials have said. The execution took place shortly before 6am (03:00 GMT) on Saturday at an Iraqi military facility in northern Baghdad

Muslims at the Hajj, shocked at the death of the former Iraqi leader, have said the timing of his execution was an insult to Muslims. Nawaf al-Harbi, a Saudi national speaking outside the Grand Mosque in Mecca, said Saddam's hanging during the Eid al-Adha, was poorly timed and disrespectful.

Angered by Saddam's execution, many Arabs have said that elements within the current Iraqi government, which backed the US invasion in 2003, should have been tried, not Saddam.

"They are American collaborators, those in Iraq. They should be executed, not Saddam Hussein," a Lebanese pilgrim said.

"Saddam Hussein is the most honourable of all of them. He is the most honourable Arab. They will go to hell, he will go to heaven."

Saturday, December 30, 2006


Not sure where you are right now –on a naval ship in the middle of the ocean, or being airlifted back to the mid east– but I can't read this news and not think that Al Jazeera hasn't actually embedded you somewhere dab smack in the middle of this mess. Maybe you even wrote this piece?



Indonesian Tentara Nasional marines newly stationed in the accommodating Venezuelan coastal city of Puerto Caballo were placed on high alert Friday night, amid reports of a possible imminent action by Pan Moslem Coalition forces upon some thus far unidentified location in the Gulf of Mexico. Although not confirmed, and with a breach on United States territory highly unlikely, the most plausible suggestion is that the target is a safe house or compound positioned somewhere on the east coast of Central America.

A report in the Miami Star News also said that 20 captured persons who identified themselves as members of the Christian Identity movement had locked themselves in a hospital in south Florida, reportedly threatening to blow themselves up if they weren't allowed transportation and immediate access to points unknown in North Carolina.

Miami Dade police were quoted as saying that the decision to detain visiting members of the Stone Kingdom Ministries outreach group was 'precautionary' and 'not in response to a specific threat' by people who identified themselves as members of the Christian Identity movement.

However, intelligence reports had earlier suggested that members of PURE were contemplating 'a crusade of fear' upon Muslim communities throughout the southeastern United States, perhaps as soon as during tomorrow's New Year celebrations.

Meanwhile, Indian Air Force fighter jets continue participating in Pan Moslem war games over the Caribbean, and some 2,000 Indonesian Marines are also in Venezuela as part of the campaign to hunt down US-born militant leader Oliver Lowell and members of his PURE network, even as reports suggested that Lowell might have already died during a previous bombing in Cyprus.

One unconfirmed report even said that the American crusader died shortly after the attacks on 7/27 due to an infection possibly caused by chewing tobacco, while another suggests the anti-globalizationist has escaped to Canada.

Neither report could be independently confirmed, and a representative for the American Tobacco industry denies that moderate and responsible use of their products may have resulted in Lowell's demise.

Al Jazeera International

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Well, at least someone in Washington DC is trying!



December 26, 2006

Senator Hillary Clinton on Christmas Day offered her support to the Muslim community in America, some of whose members had family in the July 27 attacks in South East Asia.

"The world will always remember the sacrifices made by the Muslim community in the wake of the terrible terrorist attacks on July 27. I offer my condolences and sympathy to the entire community," Hillary Clinton said addressing the Muslim community at a meeting organized on Capitol Hill in Washington by the Muslim Council on Religion and Education.

To their credit, she pointed out, Muslim Americans have striven to educate the public as well as elected officials about their religion and their heritage.

Some Muslims fell victim to hate crimes in the United States after the July 27 ‘Crusader’ attacks because of the diplomatic break down between the United States and members of the Islamic Conference.

Senator Clinton, who is one of the two senators from New York state and former president Bill Clinton, are very popular in the Indian community among people of all religious persuasions.

Before July 27, said Hillary Clinton, there were many Americans who did not know who a Muslim was, did not understand the rich history, traditions and beliefs of the Muslim people.

They did not have the experience that she and former president Bill Clinton were privileged to have of not only inviting Muslims, for the first time, to the White House, but also to have many supporters in the Muslim community.

She advised Muslims, despite threats from Islamic Nation leaders, to maintain contacts on Capitol Hill.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Yo Siraj,

I don’t think O'Gara or I are going anywhere. Since the flow of Mid East oil stopped to the US, there’s been a huge decrease of all services. Bush says we can still meet about 30 to 40 percent of our oil needs from Canada and other non-OPEC sources, but it’s still pretty bad.

Oil burning power plants have been cut down to minimal capacity. Thankfully, coal and nuclear plants have been ordered to operate at maximum capacity, and we are getting some Canadian power through the grid. All of which means we can still use the microwave and get onto the Internet for a few minutes at time, but there's an energy curfew and the city goes black after sunset.

The fact is the feds have basically ordered all non-essential electrical use shut down. Bloomberg has put permanently pulled the plug on Times Square, and the cops will arrest anyone who flaunts the law with anything so much as neon sign in the window. I heard the stopped film production in LA, and I can only imagine what Las Vegas looks like after sunset. Well, can you even see it?

There are rolling black outs during the day, as well. I don't have a fireplace in my apartment and, geez, it sucks.

You know, we're all just so used to getting what we wanted whenever we wanted it. Now it's winter and it's cold. Ten million Americans, including yours truly, unemployed, and a record number of home foreclosures forecast for this month. It friggin' feels like the dark ages

Naturally, Bush has called for immediate, extensive drilling of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. And you’d be hard pressed to find one environmentalist who will publicly decry the act. Still, they say it would be at least a year before any meaningful drilling begins to provide some relief to the lower 48 states.

Domestic air travel is suspended starting December 28th, except for medical or military use. So, I have 72 hours to figure out if I'm really going to stay in the city, or if I'm going to try and find one last seat out of here. Frankly I’m surprised they didn’t do this sooner.

Of course, all non-essential vehicular traffic has been ordered off the roads until a petroleum rationing system is put in place. So, the streets aren’t quite as empty as Annika implies, if only because they’re bursting with double parked cars. The supermarkets, on the other hand, are quite bare. If I was serious about leaving I'm sure I'd have to put out for some camping gear and hike the hell out of Manhattan. But all the camping goods stores, like Patagonia, have already been looted. It's not like I'm the only one with the good ideas.

Even getting to the airport is a hassle. You've got to take the train or a bus. You've got to call for a cab, because none of the taxis are roaming the streets looking for a fare. Gasoline is just too precious. The LIRR is still running, but who knows for how long. Obviously I will not be surfing the South Shore for a while.

But to think we could all go back to our regularly scheduled programming if Uncle Sam just handed over Oliver Lowell. I don’t think anyone knows where he is. I doubt they'll ever find him unless he wants to be found. And honestly, I still believe certain truths to be evident, like 'Innocent Until Proven Guilty'. No real American can seriously consider allowing a third world country to extradite an American citizen.

All is not ill with the world. I must admit some gratitude to those attempting to make life difficult for Americans. In fact, it hasn’t been a completely terrible holiday season, –at least not for me and a few other lucky individuals:

You hear about the group of computer hackers that broke through the Bank of America’s firewalls? FBI says they wiped out over a hundred billion dollars in outstanding balances. As it happens, BOA was my credit card company. I couldn't log onto my account this morning. Gave 'em a call. They can’t even verify I was ever a customer, much less tell me what I owe them. From what the authorities are saying, any and all evidence of any and all personal debt that I and about 40 million other people may have owed to Bank of America, via use of one or more of their Credit Card Services has been totally wiped out.

As in:


Hahahaha! HELL YEAH!

I mean, I know it's breaking the laws, but this sort of thing is giving a lot of suffering Americans a much needed break.

Funny thing is the feds don't know who's responsible. The CIA's Cybersecurity Unit is casting suspicion on two groups. They say it's possibly a group that calls itself the Christian Crusader Cyber Attackers, and they're located right here in America. If it's the CCCA, then the attack was possibly intended as an anti-usury message. Or they think that maybe the 'intrusion' was a covert military operation executed by the State sponsored Anti-Terrorism Internet Unit of the Indian government.

Well, I don't care and I hope they NEVER catch the guys who did this.

'Cause, look people, overnight, it's like I just went from being on the verge of bankruptcy to actually having money in the bank. Of course, the problem is if they can break into BOA, they can break into any bank. How long will it be before you can't find an ATM that still works?

Not like the dollar is worth anything anymore, though. And even if it was, there’s nothing to buy.

Still, you can be sure a lot of people are really happy about not having to see another credit card bill, especially during the holidays, given these lean times.

If it was the Indians, or some Islamic group, they should take public credit for it. If they do, they may actually find they have quite a few American friend here when and if they show up.

Life is wonderful, isn't it, except when it ain’t–


Friday, December 22, 2006


I know you were only joking when you asked me to recommend a passage from the Qur'an suitable for reading on Christmas(!), but I found this excerpt from Sura 56 for you anyway–

al-Waqi`ah: That Which is Coming
(Also called The Event, or The Inevitable)

Thus if he is of those brought nigh,
Then breath of life, and plenty, and a Garden of delight.
And if he is of those on the right hand,
Then the greeting "Peace be unto thee" from those on the right hand.

Selamat Datang!

Well, my friends, that’s it for me in Kuala Lumpur! I’m finally being evacuated –er, I mean transferred– if you can believe it –tonight! In the middle of the night! –And by military air transport, too, of all things.

No, I’m not the subject of a rendition, ha!

I’m being sent to the Gulf of Mexico where I’m to collect background for reports on the 'War on Evil' for Al Jazeera. I was hoping Doha would send me to London, but there is too much action in the Americas. So, in the last 24 hours I’ve managed to give away most of what I brought to Kuala Lumpur in the first place. At this point, I'm left with nothing but a duffel bag of clothes, my iPod and a laptop.

Latest breaking news I've just received directly from AJI (and probably being packaged for broadcast as I write this): USA warships have sunk two Indonesian patrol boats off the coast of Corpus Christi. And I'm told that inmates at Guantanamo Bay have already hung up signs welcoming the Coalition Navy. So, obviously, Coalition leaders have rejected Bush’s calls to halt either extraordinary renditions or future air strikes. And if it looks like war, smells like war and quacks like war, it probably is war.

btw Annika, the Coalition actually offered the United States a combined offer of 80 Mil to compensate for the damage done to the London embassy. Uncle Sam rejected the offer. I do not think negotiations will continue.

People in Malaysia have been joking that India's Abdul Kalam will mail Bush the check –whether he accepts it or not– on the end of an Agni-3 long range missile. With a range of only 1,800 miles, Kalam certainly can't target the United States from the Bay of Bengal, but the idea becomes closer to a real possibility if you relocate the launch point to a position in the Caribbean sea. And if Bush is vacationing back home at the Prairie Chapel Ranch, well, then, BOOM, good-bye Crawford, Texas.

Nothing like a big ol' toxic hole smoldering between Dallas and Houston to give new meaning to the phrase 'Cowboys and Indians'!

So, Annika, I'm VERY happy you've returned to Canada. And Jasper & Terry, maybe you guys should join her! I'm not kidding! Head north? Magic Eight Ball says "YES"!

Bush has said ANY incursion onto U.S. territory will be considered an act of war. So, even a small, dedicated law enforcement team executing an extraction of Lowell could very well be responded to as a territorial breach, and not merely as a simple act of rendition.

Likewise Malaysian Prime Minister Badawi says of the U.S.:

"An elephant can wipe out an entire village, but he can't stop flies from landing on his back."

So, what do you think those two Indonesian patrol boats were doing in the Gulf anyway? And having traveled so far, do you think the Coalition will now leave the Gulf without securing Lowell?

By the way, lest anyone in the Unites States think this entirely a Muslim fueled situation, remind the Christian conservatives in Washington that it is the result of an attack on Muslim countries by Christian fanatics, and that the Coalition is 'Pan Moslem' in name only. Yes, it does include every member of the Islamic Conference, but it also includes Norway and Venezuela.

In fact, the Indian government considers the 7/27 event a series of attacks on the various populations of 'developing economies' –NOT an attack on Muslims specifically. But as a result, Hindus throughout India have joined Muslims in a spate of aggressive activities against that nation's Christian minority.

There was in fact one recent report of a group of Hindu extremists that was actually apprehended, literally caught with their pants down, while peeing on mission Bibles.

I suppose it wouldn't be the first time men used their dicks as a weapon.

Sadly, today also brought news that as Washington warned India and Indonesia to cool off their threats of nuclear capability, 61-year-old Kathy Ayob who was critically injured in the 7/27 attacks on the Petronas Towers (and has been hospitalized ever since), has finally succumbed to her injuries and passed away.

Rumors have also started to fly that Indonesia president Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono may be next on a CIA hit list and is slated to be toppled by covert western forces in light of his recent conflagratory remarks. Naturally, the Lashkar-e-Tayeba have declared an immediate jihad against the US. I think it's the fifth or sixth time they've done so this year.

'Allu Akbar' and all that –God is great– but I think you’ll agree:

However clever we suppose ourselves, human beings are still basically idiots.


Thursday, December 21, 2006

hi boyz...

from earlier this month, another one of those little articles that somehow gets lost in the news shuffle... possibly sign that the political winds have definitely shifted and that change is in the air? i mean, just in case anyone thought otherwise...

anywayz, leaving tomorrow morning for Toronto! glad to be going back to the great White North!!!

happy holidays, if at all possible this year!



* * *

Published on Friday, December 15, 2006 by Agence Mondo Universal
Crusader Activity at Center of Damning Report
on U.S. Human Rights

by Zhao Yan

UNITED NATIONS - Rights advocacy groups around the world are calling for the United Nations to take note of the gross human rights violations being committed in in the United States.

A coalition of human and civil rights organizations Monday sent a 465-page report to a key United Nations committee, which details ongoing abuses of human rights across the United States.

...the coalition [of human and civil rights organizations] accused the U.S. State Department of trying to sidestep the UN process on the question of ongoing human rights abuses in the United States and described its behavior as 'a systematic pattern' of ignoring international human rights obligations.

The "shadow report" comes at a time when the Geneva-based UN Committee on Human Rights is about to complete its findings on human rights abuses in the United States, and how members of the government there might have ties to suspected Crusader groups.

The UN inquiry into the United States' human rights conduct is part of a review process that takes place every four years for countries that have ratified the International Convention on Civil and Political Rights, also known as the "International Bill of Rights."

As a signatory to the treaty, the U.S. government is bound to respond to the Committee's questions on human rights. The official U.S. response to the UN inquiry is due after the holidays.

Rights groups say the Bush administration is expected to defend its human rights record, as well as deny any ties to all Crusader or Terrorist groups, as it did in the past in response to the UN findings on torture, which called in February for the closure of the Guantanamo Bay prison camp.

"It's time for the United States to own up to its responsibility and acknowledge its patterns of human rights violations," says Bashir Al Bawardi, a former Guantanamo Bay detainee who recently co-authored a report, entitled, "In the Shadow of the United States: Persistent Crusader Brutality Born of Religious Fervor and Racial Tensions, and now of the American Muslim Service Committee (AMSC), an Islamic human rights group, which is part of the coalition that prepared the report for the UN.

The report documents various forms of human rights abuses in the United States, which include police brutality, abuse of immigrants, racial discrimination, the use of torture in prisons and the use of terror by government sponsored white Christian crusader groups.

The Chinese government had this to say: "The United States should reflect on its erroneous behavior on human rights and take its own human rights problems seriously instead of indulging itself in publishing the 'human rights country report' to censure other countries unreasonably."

China also bemoaned the fact that "racial discrimination has been deeply rooted in the United States, permeating into every aspect of society", saying coloured people were generally poorer than whites.

"Racial prejudice is ubiquitous in judicial fields," it said. "The proportion for persons of colored races being sentenced or being imprisoned is notably higher than whites."

The situation of American women and children was also "disturbing".

"The rates of women and children physically or sexually victimized were high," said the report, claiming that 400,000 children were forced to work as prostitutes in the United States.

The report also lashed out at the US being a democracy "manipulated by the rich", saying four billion dollars was spent on the presidential election while "poverty, hunger and homelessness haunt the United States".

"No country should exclude itself from the international human rights development process, or view itself as the incarnation of human rights which can reign over other countries and give orders to the others," it said.

"Even the United States shall be no exception."

China also charged that the United States has been "hindering" the work of the United Nation's human rights mechanism.

"Crusader activity are one of the largest growth industries in the United States," according to the AMSC. With only five percent of the world's population, the U.S. is home to about 25 percent of the world's crusader membership."

"The principle offender is Oliver Lowell's global paramilitary operation, PURE, which is suspected of having strong ties to the Christian right" says Al Bawardi.

"Because Crusader cells are a closed system, operating in secrecy, the public does not comprehend the extreme forms of abuse, violence, and racism practiced daily by the members of these groups."

In Canada the Honourable Peter MacKay, Minister of Foreign Affairs and Minister of the Atlantic Canada Opportunities Agency, today issued the following statement on the human rights situation in the United States:

"The United States continues to demonstrate its disregard for international human rights standards and its unwillingness to engage constructively with the international community.

"Canada urges the UN Security Council to adopt the draft resolution that addresses the grave situation in the United States.

"Canada will continue to stand up for human rights and take principled positions on important issues to ensure that freedom, democracy, human rights and the rule of law-values that define our country-are enjoyed around the world."

The report, which is a rebuttal to the official U.S. response that is has been ineffective at locating Lowell and other Christian extremists, documents many cases of law authority figures simply not executing tasks, with the results often leading to use of excessive force, extraction of coerced confessions, rape, strip searches, and racial and religious profiling, especially targeted at Muslims.

In a statement, the coalition accused the U.S. State Department of trying to sidestep the UN process on the question of ongoing human rights abuses by Crusaders in the United States and described its behavior as "a systematic pattern" of ignoring international human rights obligations.

"Far from being out of the ordinary," says Al Bawardi, "or an aberration--which is the image painted by the Bush administration--abuse and the use of torture by Christian Crusaders in the United States is frighteningly widespread."

The human rights violations, as pointed out in the report, also refer to the use of electric stun belts, grenades, and guns; tethers; waist and leg chains; air tasers; and restraint hoods, belts, and beds.

The report submitted to the UN Committee represented the views of more than 140 U.S.-based groups and 32 prominent individual activists.

The groups likely to testify before the UN Committee include the American Civil Liberties Union, Global Rights, Lawyer's Committee for Civil Rights Under Law, the International Women's Rights Action Watch, Minnesota Advocates for Human Rights, Center for Reproductive Rights and Justice Now.

Copyright © 2006 Agence Mondo Universal

Wednesday, December 20, 2006


Huge news: Coalition Special Forces have announced the arrests of Rupert Murdoch, Paul Wolfowitz and two of Lowell's lieutenants. Murdoch, they say, is a 'Disseminator of Western Propaganda'. And who can argue with that?





First Extraordinary Renditions Take Place in UK, Australia, and Spain

A multinational collective of Coalition Special Forces executed the first in what many say will be a number of Extraordinary Renditions.

Under the new Rendition Plan, created to lead Southeast Asia’s global 'War on Evil', Coalition Forces will be able to operate anywhere in the world without the need for any further authorization or disclosure. The Collective Forces Command, or COFCOM, is said to have 23,000 personnel at it's disposal to execute missions which may include 'man-hunts', 'intelligence gathering' and 'disrupting crusader sanctuaries' in countries where the Coalition is not even at war.

Areas of particular focus are Europe, the United States and the 'Christian West' according to one Malaysian official.

In Madrid, where one of the first operations took place, the military action caused a Spanish commuter train to derail resulting in 16 causalities and the death of at least one innocent bystander.

The Malaysian Prime minister, speaking on behalf of the entire Coalition, apologized for the collateral in Madrid, but says the results of the risk assessment declare the loss of life and damage to property worth it.

In the U.K., where some of the most notorious Crusader fugitives are thought to be living, Skinhead Crusaders Tyler Colchester and Max Povey were picked up and airlifted out of the country. Both men are thought to be top aides of July 27 mastermind Oliver Lowell.

The two of the most controversial renditions were that of global media giant, Rupert Murdoch and World Bank President Paul Wolfowitz who were both sequestered from Australia while attending a Media and Public Policy Conference in Melbourne.

Wolfowitz also served a controversial term as U.S. Deputy Secretary of Defense in the administration of President George W. Bush.

Coalition members called Murdoch: “A purveyor and supporter of western lies,” which he allegedly and egregiously executed under auspices of the News Corporation.

All detainees in this first series of arrests are considered 'key leaders' of worldwide 'Crusader' organizations. Since Murdoch is the head of a worldwide 'propaganda' network, he especially is viewed as a potential gold mine of information.

Further, according to the Coalition Extradition Protocol by which Murdoch was arrested, the mogul is likely to be prosecuted even if he "may have believed that his conduct was religiously, politically or morally required, ultimate good would result, or stockholders would benefit."

This despite the recent discovery of an ultra-sensitive secret memo which recounts a threat made by Indonesian Prime Minister to bomb the New York Headquarters of Fox News in the event of further invasive measures. Coalition leaders say Fox News broadcasts have been inflammatory, misleading and occasionally false.

A source familiar with the operation reported that Murdoch and Wolfowitz, like Colchester, Povey and up to thirty-seven others, are being transferred to special Crusader facilities on the maximum security island prison of Nusa Kambangan, located in the Indian Ocean, and known around the world as the 'Alcatraz of Indonesia'.

The jurisdiction of the Crusader Facility is in some question, as Indonesian officials say that while the island may be government property, the Crusader Facility itself lies in area outside the jurisdiction of the Indonesian courts, which insiders are said to refer to as a 'Black Site'.

Moreover, speaking about yesterday's renditions this morning, an announcement by Coalition Member States declared Crusader captures identified as members of PURE, or who are thought to belong to any other of a number of known Christian Crusader groups, will not qualify for POW status.

The President of India has maintained the Coalition's commitment to the principles of the Geneva Convention, while recognizing that the Convention simply does not cover every situation in which people may be captured or detained by military forces, a precedent he noted that had been legally and convincingly established by United States’ actions in Iraq and Afghanistan.

"Events aren't moved by blind change and chance," he continued, "but by the hand of Allah, who is at work in world affairs." He concluded by calling for Coalition member states to lead 'a defensive jihad' of liberation in the United States, saying that, "this call of history has come to the right country." Renditions/Murdoch/122006.htm

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Countdown to Canada has begun!

Picked out my window seat printed my e-ticket. Leaving at 6:40AM, Friday, on what is no doubt one of the last seats on one of the few remaining carriers still operating out of LGA.

Go Air Canada!

btw Jasper: I haven't heard back from you since left me that text about getting laid off. Sorry we're parting like this, but you were invited! (Rolls eyes at stubborn, uncommunicative boyfriend, who either can't afford batteries, doesn't know how to charge his phone or needs new attitude).

Anyway, of course got nothing accomplished in my last class of the year at the Annex. Not that everyone or anyone was in a giddy holiday spirit. Just the opposite. Everyone wreaks of anxiety. They're are still talking about how Bush has been labeled a 'Global Crusader', but if he's laughing it off, then why is everybody so nervous? Of course, I know a lot of Canucks who would agree with that assessment.

Siraj, hunny, you probably know better than any of us what might happen next. I don't really envision an Islamic Army storming Washington, much less attempting to capture the President of the United States. Maybe the Feds will get Lowell, but I don't think they'll send him overseas. But foreign forces invading the United States? That will never happen, although it would make for one of those a good but oh so bad TV shows! haha!

I must say I'm so excited to be going back home! I finally found someone to sublet my apartment. THANK GOD! He's of my students and his parents are paying for it. I'm so lucky. Sweet kid. Huge talent. Too bad the world is ending.

I'll be Toronto Friday for lunch, and not a moment too soon as far as I'm concerned, cause no one knows how much longer the planes will fly. Although international flights that can refuel in Canada, that's really no problem. They're just expensive. US domestic flights is another story.

Given the oil embargo, public travel is considered a luxury. We've heard that the US Government wants to ground all domestic carriers as soon as the holidays are over. If you live anywhere near an International hub, you should have no problem getting out of the country, but if you're in Kansas City and you want to leave, you're not going anywhere unless you can ride a bike. Even the streets of New York are thinning out. Bookies are taking bets on what medallion number will herald the last yellow cab before the American oil reserves runs out. And while I don't think that will happen either, it really looks quite Soviet on Fifth Avenue this year.

I hate to gloat, but at least we still have gasoline in Canada! I've heard Americans are slipping into the provinces just to fill up their cars. It blows my mind what's going on.

Oh and I heard that both India and Indonesia have agreed to pay the U.S.A something like fifty million dollars each as compensation for accidentally blowing up the American Embassy in London. You'd think they'd want to hold onto that money if they were really serious about starting a war. So I guess it was a mistake and all's well that ends well.

Misses and kisses–

For gawds sake, Jasper, text me!

And everybody stay alive through Christmas! haha (but I jest)

xxxooo (one of each for all my boys)

Annika Britannica

PS – Siraj, are there any christmas-y passages in the Quran?

–That was a joke, sweetie. LOL!

Monday, December 18, 2006


Sorry to hear you lost your job. That sucks. Not sure what the job situation is like there, but maybe you can freelance? I met a guy here who works for News Corp. back in the states. I'll ask him if he has any leads for a copywriter.


Sunday, December 17, 2006

Hip Hop Foo ray, the rag heads blew up the U.S. Embassy. If it wasn't war before, it is now.

Either way, I don't give a damn anymore. I was laid off this morning.

The country is down to its last eight to twelve more weeks of oil and once the US Strategic Petroleum Reserves run dry, that's it. Throw in the the air of IMPENDING DOOM and there is simply no further demand for someone who writes however amazingly turgid ad copy for stuff like 'Super Concentrated Fuel Injector Cleaner' and other useless fuel additives.

Word is that come February, when the last Hummer farts out its final oil plume, the last working 48-inch flat screen in America will simultaneously kiss black and that will be that.

Thank God there's always the Canadian power grid to sponge off of, otherwise people would already be killing each other in the streets over Energizer Triple A batteries.

I thought New York City was supposed to be immune to recession, but it's not. People just go broke and evacuate, which in turns creates vacancies for new rich people who come in, buy at a bargain and while the weekends away antiquing. What happened to the last tenant, you may ask? You don't want to know: The American Dream killed him. So, yes, theoretically the city is immune to recession. But you, me and everyone else who lives here is still pretty much susceptible to getting FUCKED.


No, it's not funny, but c'mon you got to laugh.

I guess I better use my time during unemployment to figure out how to use the words like 'Eco' and 'Hydrogen' to make snappy taglines.


Ah, I think I've got it already.

Pfft. I'm no scientist, but mark my words, no sooner than we've converted to Hydrogen fueled vehicles, we're going to find out we've got a problem with automobile generated vapor trails blocking out the sun.

At least I’m not the only one who had a bad day. US authorities say they want to step up Saddam Hussein’s transfer to the Iraqi Government, which will no doubt result in his immediate execution. But what do I care what happens to Hussein? He was a bully.

And now Indonesia's ambassador to the UN has declared the diplomatic process with the United States, in regards to the request to secure and extradite Lowell and his associates, finished. So now what? The Indonesians are taking their toys and going home? Well, pick one: do you want Lowell or not?

In fact, Coalition member nations have begun recalling all diplomatic stragglers remaining in the US back to their countries of origin.


Which is fine the way I figure it. I just feel bad that it's going to hurt an already ailing economy. What with the way that the U.N. is emptying out, it won't be long before all the New York strip clubs file for bankruptcy.

Bush btw has been designated a 'Global Crusader'. And Coalition leaders have given him, his wife and their two daughters just 48 hours to leave the United States or face a war.

You have to wonder:

A) Are they out of their frickin' minds?

B) What did Laura Bush ever to do to deserve this?

C)Why does everyone else in Washington get a free pass?

Good luck to W. finding new digs. Since I really can't afford to move anywhere else, the invasion will have to come to me.

Just thank God I'm not overseas.

Read about a group of European tourists, including some famous English DJ, had been arrested in India –in Goa. Article said they’ve all since been sequestered to destinations unknown in order to be interrogated regarding their participation in illegal Crusader Activities, like DANCING TO TECHNO, which apparently is now punishable by death in some parts of the world. –Siraj, any truth to that?

Oh yeah, btw, Siraj, you asked about American Muslims:

I think the only ones who are pissed belong to the most recent wave of immigrants, –mostly scholars and academics and technologists– because the jobs they came here for have since been outsourced to the very same third world countries they fled from. Gotta love Globalization, the world is flat and all that.

Hey, if you wanted to be a computer programmer, then why didn't you stay in India?

Speaking of Lowell, said it before, I'll say it again: Crusader Dude may be a crazy, racist, Christian nazi psycho murderer, but that doesn’t mean that he’s necessarily wrong about some essential social truths. Just sayin'.

End of transmission–

Jasp Out

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Yeah, everyone's talking about it–



INTERNATIONAL TIMES, December 15, 2006

Coalition forces targeting a suspected Crusader safe house in the center of England's capital struck the U.S. Embassy, in an attack that knocked out electricity across much of London. The American government reported at least twelve people were killed; British officials reported over scores of injured inside and outside the Embassy. President Bush denounced the attack and called an emergency meeting of the United Nations Security Council, which convened just before midnight.

The Coalition acknowledged that bombs dropped from an F-16 fighter jet were solely meant to obliterate a building that intelligence sources reported as being the U.K. headquarters for the Christian separatist sect, PURE.

A representative of Coalition member Partners said it had not meant to hit the Embassy. "Members of the coalition regrets any damage to the embassy or injuries to American diplomatic personnel," the statement said.

Evidently the aircraft bombed the American Embassy because Indian military command mistakenly believed that the location of the Embassy was the location of the Christian compound, a spokesperson for the collective Pan Moslem Coalition said today.

"We hit what we were aiming for," the Indian Ambassador in London said. "But we did not mean to hit the American Embassy."

The plane carried out its mission correctly and struck its assigned building. But the aircraft was given faulty target information, the officials explained.

British officials, who escorted journalists to the scene in London, reported that an additional 60 to 70 people had been wounded. Dismembered bodies lay on a nearby street around the rubble left from the bombs.

The Prime Minister of Malaysia immediately reached out to Washington to inform it about the strike, an Administration official said. Later, Tony Snow, the White House Press Secretary reported the President of the United States, George Bush, was 'shocked and distressed' at the report of the strike.

The accidental bombing of the American Embassy has further added to the political unrest that has swept the world. Firstly because the United States is not entirely convinced the destruction of its embassy was an unfortunate error, but also because the bombing is believed to be the first incursion of a preemptive Coalition strike into a sovereign nation without that nation's explicit permission.

"This irrelevant explanation only shows that the Coalition partners completely lack any sincerity," said Tony Blair, Britain’s outspoken Prime Minister.

Some say however, that the Brits must have given consent, whether directly or indirectly, when they hammered out a lease option for the use of military facilities on Ascension Island to the Coalition earlier this month.

One source from within the British government says Blair may publicly fume, but he will probably do little to retaliate against what certainly appears to be a reckless disregard of international borders by the Coalition. After a thus far week-long and worldwide boycott of the United States (by members of the Coalition), –a trade embargo which includes mid east oil and natural gas–, Blair is thought to be simply glad he can accommodate the alliance which is made up of mostly Muslim and sub-equatorial developing nations, but which also includes neighboring Norway.

The Coalition embargo against the United States also enjoys a 'hands off' policy from much of Europe, Russia and China, whose governments say their hands are tied must ac on behalf of their respective populations regarding the acquisition, management and access of foreign fuel in order to fulfill their own respective economic and energy requirements during these tense times.

In addition Putin has said on a number of occassion that the immense Muslim population in Russia and throughout the Commonwealth of Independent States (former soviet republics: Azerbaijan, Armenia, Belarus, Georgia, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Moldova, Russia, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan and Ukraine), prevents him from pursing any action that can be construed as aiding those who harbor and abet Crusader groups.

"Well, how the bloody hell do you think the plane got into and through British airspace?" the official who wished to remain anonymous said. The fighter jet is believed to have returned to its temporary base in Norway, where that country enjoys a recently signed bilateral military, economic and political treaty with Indonesia, a leading member of the Coalition.

Although it is too early to tell, strategists suspect that an immediate result of the attack will be an immediate cessation of the ongoing removal of U.S. forces stationed in Western Europe. Under a plan drafted by the former Defense Minister, Donald Rumsfeld, and approved by Congress, the U.S. had planned to halve its Army troop presence in Europe from 62,000 to 28,000 soldiers by 2012.

The withdrawal of troops was to serve two purposes: When it was first drafted, it was largely seen as a necessary adjustment in light of the new post-Cold War world order. But since the American occupation of Iraq has started to go awry; and in light of new tensions with the East and Middle East resulting from the 7/27 attacks in Southeast Asia; and given dwindling recruitment numbers back home, the troop removal was also perceived as less a removal and more of a relocation and reallocation.

Now it is expected the Pentagon will either slow or stop the removal of troops until the U.S. is certain the situation with Europe can be managed.

"I would like to see how the Pan Moslem Coalition will justify this," one policy wonk asked from his Fox News anchor desk early this morning. "It was a deliberate targeting of the American Embassy. It's high time to end this Crusader madness."


U.S. Embassy bombed in London! –Yikes, that's an act of war.

London, U.K. (December 15, 2006): In an extraordinary pre-emptive strike against a suspected PURE compound, Pan Moslem Coalition bombs hit the American Embassy in London last night.

Good Morning and Death to the Great Satan!

–which no kidding is actually the exact phrase that woke me up and got me out of bed this morning. Turns out about a few thousand Malay protesters were celebrating the so-called 'accidental' strike against a U.S. target. The authorities here usually don't tolerate that sort of thing, but something tells me they'll probably let this one go.

Course 'Death to the Great Satan' doesn't have quite the same warm, inviting tone as, say 'Virginia Is For Lovers', but still, one has to admit, a pretty persuasive call to action, and even great branding in its own way.

Oh, and yes, Jasp, as a survivor of the event, I do very much sympathize with the victims of 7/27. But for what it's worth, I certainly don't think the senseless bombing the U.S. embassy in London is an appropriate act of retaliation.

On the other hand, I'm not sure I have any idea just what would be the right tact, so far be it from me to try and out strategize the generals. Just hope their ready when Uncle Sam aka The Great Satan starts reigning down a hail of fire on their heads.

Speaking of split allegiances, can anyone tell me how American Muslims are dealing with these recent events?


Friday, December 15, 2006

Hold up Siraj–


The barbarians are at the gate, bro, and you actually sound like they have a legitimate grievance. Well, um, I don't get it. Personally, I have a hard time swallowing the idea that this so-called 'War on Evil' is really about Evil at all. Not when all the talk about is about invading the US of A!

How insane can they be? Fucktards.

Look, Lowell is scum. But is it really worth the constipated effort just to capture one guy? 'Scuse me while I shit all over that idea. THEY'RE NOT GOING TO FIND HIM. Dude is hiding in a cave in the Appalachian Mountains.

If the Federal Government can't even locate him, and apparently he's camping at a day's driving distance from Washington DC, then he can't be found. And even if he weren’t in hiding, guys like him don't walk around name tags that read HELLO MY NAME IS ADOLPH HITLER.

Oh, if the could all only glow green, but as far as I can tell, we live in the year 2006 and the technology does not yet exist that can tell apart stupid Nazis from your average Apocryphal born again Christian.

And Question: Is all this political noise really just about Oliver Lowell? Is it? Cause I think maybe the rag heads are just fed up with yet another McDonald's, KFC or Starbucks forcing the local kebab shops out of business and into bankruptcy. So, duh, they're simply using the destruction of the Petronas Towers as an EXCUSE to smash the likes of Pizza Hut and Taco Bell into day old dust. And even if that's not the case, the truth is not too far from that scenario. It's certainly not a good time to be an unarmed YUM! Brands exec, that's for sure.

Granted, if it sounds absurd to go to war simply over the explosive growth of fat food outlets in Asia, then please tell the Indian Government that it's no less absurd an idea to suggest they'll drop an atomic warhead over Murphy, North Carolina because they think it will help drum Lowell out of the woods.

Siraj, my Lebanese-American friend, –is your allegiance is divided? Cause you being Muslim, I could understand if it was.

btw, have you noticed how the Saudis are slowly getting involved. You can’t get through a single day here without hearing one Saudi prince or another speak at length on TV about the crummy treatment Saudis receive from the United States.

All of 'em are profoundly resentful over the treatment of prisoners at Guantanamo Bay and Abu Ghraib. You hear 'em rattle on and on, blah blah blah, about how US refusal to evacuate Iraq is part of a larger plot by Washington –and Israel, of course– to weaken Islamic control of petroleum.

And of course they also resent the poor coverage of Saudi Arabia in western media, depicting the Sheiks as a bunch of OPEC whiners. Which begs the question, why are they guesting on Meet the Press, anyway? And HELLO, then why did they go and dump the dollar for the Euro? Who gives these cats advice? I don't get it.

The Saudis are lining up right along side with the Malaysians, the Indians, the Indonesians, the Pakistanis, Et al., because they all think Bush is in league with Lowell. Well, he probably is! Bush and Lowell are both born again Christians, so it is possible. But neither has called for wiping Israel off the map, like some of these other Mid East nuts we know.

And what do I think? Sure, Muslims specifically may have been the primary target of Lowell's 7/27 attack, but I don't think that the Saudis –or anyone else for that mater– now actually gives a damn whether Lowell gets caught or not. The countries targeted by the 7/27 attacks might have a real grievance, but the Saudis and others are simply so overwhelmingly resentful of U.S. support of Israel, that they're going to leverage the 7/27 for their own political agenda.

And that's not just American Jew talk, dude. The Kingdom in particular is inflamed over settlements in the West Bank. One guy said it was a "ruthless occupation of Palestinian territory." Boo hoo hoo fucking cry baby. Not a nation on the planet that didn't gain its territory via force, the Kingdom not excluded.

Screwball Islamic ideologists just get kookier by the day.

Besides, elements within the Saudi Arabian government are themselves directly responsible for the destruction of the WTC on September 11th. The imams launched a worldwide jihad against the US way of life back in 2001, and make no mistake it's not over yet. I'm convinced, all this Islamic angina because Ronald McDonald dared to hang out a shingle in Jeddah.

Funny thing is both Lowell and the Islamofascists want Uncle Sam to stop exporting US ingenuity overseas, so there is apparently some opportunity for agreement, at least on the issue of Globalization.

No doubt, Lowell is a bad apple, Siraj, but there's no evidence that he's done anything illegal. Not to mention that a lot of people actually agree with many of his ideological points. At the same time, Fox News delivers us daily reports of arrests throughout the Mid East of HUNDREDS of Christians, for merely attending a church service, or owning a Bible! Just think what they'd do to Jews!

So to think that Saudi troops trained by Northrop Grumman’s Virginia based Vinnell Corporation may be about to participate in a U.S. invasion goes beyond irony. That's as good as money good. No doubt they'll be flying F-15s, F-16s, AWACS and rolling in on tanks Uncle Sam delivered to Riyadh by only last year.

In fact, Fox reports that the United States has exported upwards of 5 billion dollars in arms to countries who have, since 7/27, become allied members of the Pan Moslem Coalition. The American public mow wants to know who authorized these arms deals –it's a SCANDAL– and they want to see HEADS ROLL. Who can blame 'em.

And yet, I think: Malaysia, India, Indonesia, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, Iran, the whole lot of 'em -does anyone really think they're actually going to be able to cooperate with one another?


In the meantime, everything you may have heard about me is true:

I'm just one Star of David away from going all redneck back here in the States.


–I'm The Way I Am Because I Rock–

The Jasp

Thursday, December 14, 2006


I had been thinking –too much coffee, too little companionship– how, you may ask, will the Pan Moslem Coalition pay for a war?

Especially since most member countries are still considered 'third world' or 'developing nations', –if the are considered nations at all, and not a bunch of cobbled together fiefdoms, which in some cases is actually not so far from the truth.

My friends, Malaysia's newly elected forty-four year old Sultan Mizan Zainal Abidin's role may be largely ceremonial, but he did study International affairs in London. And as the nominal head of the Malaysian armed forces, he is also a man with a vision.

While talking with reporters this morning, Zainal Abidin suggested that if in the pursuit of international criminals, a 'limited invasion' of U.S. territory was incurred; Coalition Partners could defray the cost of occupation "with revenue seized from American technology companies."

Say what?

Said the Sultan:

"Thirty to Fifty billion of combined stock assets from the software sector, –such as from Microsoft, Apple, Google– will easily pay for the action."


Back at the Al Jazeera London office, unemployed mercenaries, –ahem, I mean freelance 'professional consultants'– say that the Indian Congressional Budget Office estimates that the cost of a multilateral occupation in the US could be managed for a measley $7 to $20 billion a year. And officials also believe any incursion by Coalition forces into the U.S would require an occupation that could last a year or more.

Needless to say, people are giving this silly idea some serious thought.

But anyway, Google is presently valued at well over a hundred billion! Therefore, the Internet company could easily pay for at least one military 'action', and still have more than enough left over if it all goes sour and turns into a quagmire.

So maybe not a far fetched idea, after all?

Except that now Malay bureaucrats are scrambling to explain to the rest of the world what the Zainal Abidin really met:

Said a Malaysian National Security Council spokesman:

"Officially, Coalition leaders agree that software revenues could play an important role during an occupation period, but only–",

–add best bullshitting voice here–

"–For the benefit of United States citizens."

It may reek of fiasco to the west, but I think His Royal Majesty has his heart set on freeing the Americans from their imperial masters, and whether they want to be liberated, or not.

We now break from our usual programming so that I may share with you the following passage from the Quran, which to my mind now seems perfectly timely:


When Earth is shaken with her final earthquake
And Earth yieldeth up her burdens,
And man saith: What aileth her?
That day she will relate her chronicles,
Because thy Lord inspireth her.
That day mankind will issue forth in scattered groups to be shown their deeds.
And whoso doeth good an atom's weight will see it then,
And whoso doeth ill an atom's weight will see it then.




Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Selamat Datang!

The world continues to burn.

Malaysia's new king took office today. Tuanku Mizan Zainal Abidin won't formally installed until April 2007, but it is a remarkable day nonetheless. Early this morning, both President Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam and President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono issued a striking joint statement that neither India nor Indonesia was averse to using nuclear weapons, if the tactic was deemed necessary towards the capture –or elimination– of Oliver Lowell (and other members the PURE network).

Meanwhile, in a separate televised broadcast in Pakistan, that country’s leader Gen Pervez Musharraf indicated his nation’s acceptance of a conditional peace agreement with India, which he signed into law at a heretofore undisclosed treaty meeting in Kashmir. The arrangement, it's reported, was hammered out by Musharraf and Abdul Kalam during the days and weeks that followed the 7/27 attacks.

Analysts here say the agreement has less to do with peace between the two countries and more to do with the fact that Musharraf wants to be sure that India (with 827 Million Hindus), doesn’t undercut Pakistan’s measure of influence in what is, after all, being called a 'Pan Moslem Coalition'.

Others –more conspiratorially minded– say that Pakistan would not have come to the table had not China exerted its own diplomatic pressure from across the Himalayas. China has long played an important role as a leading provider of sensitive military technology to Pakistan, a relationship which has naturally strained Sino-American relations before, despite the relatively recent influx of numerous U.S. investment deals in the East. Some say the current move reveals a new hidden political agenda that Pakistan is implementing on China’s behalf.

Possible covert Chinese strategies aside, Abdul Kalam's nuclear banter has pushed buttons in the west, especially in the United States, where Reuters reports that the Indian ambassador to Washington was called to the White House to clarify the Indian President’s remarks.

A source reveals how Ambassador Ronen Sen, India's US ambassador, explained to a room full of unspecified U.S. government officials that the July 27, 2007 attacks on South East Asia by militant Christians have necessarily inspired disaffected Coalition partners to not just strengthen their region’s protective defenses from future threats, but to prevent 'anticipated western aggression' with pre-emptive measures.

"We have a pragmatic obligation to strike down Oliver Lowell and the PURE Network before they develop the capacity to strike us again," Ronen Sen said, "–and there’s not a bloody thing Dick Cheney and a pot full of coconut curry can do about it."

Naturally, Washington returned Sen's swagger with words of warning, impressing upon him the importance that India back off from threats that speak either to India's nuclear capability, or of any measures that indicate a possible incursion of U.S. territory.

Sen responded immediately expressing concern that Washington's words sounded less like a warning than a thinly veiled threat, and returned with a warning of his own, telling the US superpower "not to even consider coming to Bhabha in search of yellowcake". "We are not so naive," he added.

Bhabha is the Bhabha Atomic Research Centre [BARC], which looks like a bit like a robo-hindi version of the Taj Mahal and bills itself as "A premier multi-disciplinary Nuclear Research Center of India". One wonders what is meant by 'multi-disciplinary', though? Atomic Research, and perhaps a dance program?

This tête-à-tête between India and Washington has in turn given rise to new fears in South East Asia and throughout the Muslim world that western forces –which could easily launch an action from America-occupied Afghanistan– might seek to topple India, Indonesia, Pakistan, or all three, in an attempt to destabilize newly formed alliances. I can tell you that one immediate result is that right now, I guarantee you, local Imams all over the world are using their PA systems to issue an immediate call to jihad, as a pre-emptive measure against a possible attack by Washington.

Good job, President Bush.

And in case you aren’t following the stories that are buried in the middle of the newspaper, Under-Secretary for Political Affairs, R. Nicholas Burns, –who I've learned has been working tirelessly for some time to hammer out a Civil Nuclear Cooperation agreement with India– commented on Sen's remarks by declaring the Indo-American initiative, reached only last May, by the way, "now absolutely dead".

Daulat Tuanku! –Long Live the King!


Sunday, December 10, 2006

Siraj, sweetie!

Have you seen this article (copied & posted below)? So, now there's this dangerous racist hiding out somewhere in North Carolina, presumably, and U.S. law enforcement either can't or won't do anything about it! To top it off, you have these intellectual slackers promoted all over cable TV and radio that seem to think this Oliver Lowell creep is some kind of American hero! And people are agreeing with them!


Can't anyone in the same country that initiated the War on Terror see this man for what he is? I can’t describe in words how upset I am that Lowell is allowed to walk free. He's in hiding of course, but not from the police, but from people looking to seek revenge for what he did! Where is the justice in all this? What a sad state of affairs the land of the free has gotten itself into. Some people have no compassion, no regard for human life and yet they still have the gall to call themselves 'Christians'. No sir, I'm not buying.

I love you Americans, –I really, really do– but for gawds sake there's an awful lot of block heads here –she tips her nose in the air. I just don't get it.

Needless to say I can't wait until Christmas, because I'm going back to Toronto, and I don't know when –or if– I'll come back to New York. It's going to be a while, though, that's for sure. It's like, suddenly I'm thinking to myself, just what am I doing in this country? Teaching? I can do that in Toronto.

Sorry, Jasper, sweetie, but you can always come to Canada with me. There's always room for another stateside expat. Don't hate me! At least we have fuel in Canada. So we can cook! We can drive cars!

It was a life long dream to move to New York and be a writer here– but I think I want to be HOME when world suddenly starts proving stranger than fiction!

Thank God for craigslist because I've got to find someone to sublease my apartment asap.

And you know what's funny in all this? The US economy is spiraling downhill; oil is being rationed; it looks like the world is going to war –AND IT'S STILL NOT AFFORDABLE TO LIVE IN MANHATTAN! haha. Ughh – I hope there's still someone left in this town who will rent my apartment before real estate implodes and I have to lower the rent!

Sorry if this rant was stupid, I started out wanting to update you guys on my life, but it turns out I'm insignificant in the scheme of things and I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening.

Hey, you know what I need? Butter cream frosting! –and then everything will be A-OK.

Roger on that, tee hee.

om baby yum baby gotta go babies–


ps –oops almost forgot –here's the article!

Village Vox Press
December 9, 2006

Robert Herman, an attorney who until now was best known for representing the Ku Klux Klan and Matt Hale, director of the virulently racist World Church of the Creator, revealed today that he has been retained by Oliver Benjamin Lowell, through members of his PURE network.

Herman claims he does not know the whereabouts of his infamous client, but that the first order of business was to convey Lowell's message to the country that Muslim immigrants –indeed all immigrants, from sub-equatorial nations– "must leave the United States and Europe or suffer the consequences."

Herman also delivered a new videotape to Fox News. On it Lowell can be heard to advise Christians to avoid all air international travel.

Lowell also goes on to criticize leaders of the Pan Moslem Coalition, specifically Air Chief Marshal Djoko Suyanto, Commander-in-Chief for Indonesia’s Armed Forces [Tentara Nasional Indonesia]. Suyanto had expressed doubts of authenticity to previously reported comments attributed to Lowell that thousands of young American and European Christian soldiers were looking forward to their chance to "fight for Jesus Christ and the free white world".

Herman said: "In a message conveyed to me by members of the PURE network, Lowell told me that he knows that if he commands it, PURE will deliver it, God willing."

Saturday, December 09, 2006

The day's not over yet and this couldn't wait until tomorrow–

Just caught wind that a New Delhi McDonalds restaurant, for some the potent symbol of everything wrong with a globalized 'McWorld', has been torched by a violent anti-American crowd in India.

Thankfully, there was only one casualty: an innocent bystander, curiously described as a red haired albino man and identified as one Ronald McDonald of Oak Brook, Illinois.

Nothing left of him but charred shell of his former self.

Check it out–


New Delhi, India (December 8, 2006): Members of the Students Islamic Movement of India (SMI) stormed a McDonalds restaurant where they staged a protest, culminating in the destruction of a plastic figure of the company's iconic clown mascot, Ronald McDonald.

Nothing but nonstop stories off the live feed today, none of which I’m sure if any will get much play in the United States, but have left me at the end of the day, feeling rather loopy. However, O'Gara, yes, your suspicions are correct; I can confirm: the planet is indeed headed straight for Armageddon.

More signs of the impending Apocalypse:

Pop singer Michael Jackson, who has lived in the United Arab Emirates since August 2005, was among a group of seventy westerners forcibly evacuated from the country under military escort last night.

UAE locals were kind enough to hurl stones at the convoy of star packed limos as it sped towards Dubai International Airport.

Avoiding crowds were global football/soccer star, David Beckham and his wife Victoria (Posh Spice), who were airlifted off a palm tree-shaped resort island where they own a vacation home. I'm told me that the famous couple is lucky to have escaped with their lives, for as they left a crowd sympathetic to the Pan Moslem Coalition moved in and burned the palatial residence to the ground.

Across the Mid East and Southeast Asia, the 'War on Evil' is having a profound effect on international relationships, both at the state level as well as the personal. In almost every sub-equatorial state Americans and Europeans are being told to go home. In Saudi Arabia, there are whispers that sometime in the next couple of weeks the Saudis will ask the United States to evacuate its military bases there. No one knows what result this will produce, but I can tell you exactly what's going to happen:


We've already seen the banning of the bikini in Malaysia, India and Thailand, –but one edict in a long list of what are informally called 'anti-Crusader laws'.

And as you may already know, Malaysia's Prime Minister has ordered all U.S. owned businesses shuttered, and all Americans out of the country by the end of the month. Lucky for me I work for Al Jazeera, and I have a Lebanese name, but Doha is certainly going to transfer me out of the country sooner than later, so I've been told. Badawi says Americans must go for the sake of their own safety, but everyone knows it's a means to a very specific end:

By crippling U.S. economic presence in the region (and every Muslim nation and most of Southeast Asia is thought to be enacting similar measures), Badawi is trying to force the U.S. government to stop dragging their imperial heels and produce the 'Crusaders' for extradition.

As it happens, the lock down on globalization here is also gaining Malaysia sympathy in the most unlikely places, namely from from socialists and greens in both the United States and in Europe. This is power and support the Coalition can possibly use in the near future to leverage western governments from within their own borders. See, it's nice to have friends abroad who'll stick up for you.

In equal measure, there are also some here making attempts to diminish the increasing conflagration in this part of the world, but with little success so far to show for their efforts.

Recent point in case: A US-Islamic forum commissioned with identifying common ground between the United States and the Muslim Coalition kicked off this morning in Kuala Lumpur and to a rather poor start. Before the keynote speaker could even begin, delegates from both sides of the ideological table were screaming at each other.

I was actually present as an observer for Al Jazeera. No sooner had the first fist fight broken out, when a crowd of Pan-Malaysian Islamic Party members, fresh from looting the National Evangelical Christian Fellowship Malaysi –where they left two missionaries dead, I might add– stormed the conference hall. And once inside, a hundred of them confronted the American delegation and began chanting:

"Death to the Infidels! Death to the Infidels! The army of Islam will return."

Now, as you are well aware, I have experience running out of a burning skyscraper while it was collapsing in on itself and I barely escaped with my life. I have since presented myself to report on several similarly raucous demonstrations. But the sheer violence of this morning's situation scared the hell out of me. I really thought I might die.

But I was lucky to be running out the back door for my life at the same time as US Undersecretary of State for Public Diplomacy and Public Affairs, Karen Hughes, who lead the American delegation. Once outside she appeared inexplicably unruffled. I think she must see this sort of thing all the time. Anyway, as luck would have it, she gave me a quote:

"If we truly desire to reach a better understanding of each other, if we truly want our dialogue to produce results, we have to stop demonizing each other and replace hate with hope."

Yeah, whatever.

And yet, when I finally wrapped and headed out for some dinner, a Malaysian street vendor who knows me both as an employee of Al Jazeera and as an American, he gently took my hand in his and fervently impressed upon me that, "We Muslims are peace-loving people."

Being a Muslim myself, I tend to believe him, but I quite understand if the two dead National Evangelical Christian missionaries were to disagree.

btw, Terry, the link to the article about the so-called Reasons for the Upcoming War With Iraq a reminded me a bit of something that Egyptian journalist Mohamed Heikal once wrote in his book Autumn of Fury: The Assassination of Sadat (Random House, 1983). He said:

"Once learned, conspiratorial habits are hard to shake off."


Friday, December 08, 2006

T. touching down–

Personally, I'm not the least bit surprised about the OPEC decision. Going back a couple of years, I’ve read any number of articles trickled out by academics, journalists (and conspiratorialists), all who've claimed that –911, and potential WMDs aside– the real reason the U.S moved against Saddam Hussein was to keep him from selling Iraq’s oil for Euros. Read The Real Reasons for the Upcoming War With Iraq by William Clark, for instance. Whether the premise has any real truth to it, the report feels like a pitch for an Oliver Stone film.

Anyway, the news is never good, is it.

In yet another related development, I don’t know if anyone remembers how back in 2004 Iran announced that it planned to establish an oil-trading market for Middle Eastern and OPEC producers? Well, I'm thinking, no wonder the U.K. is playing according to Coalition rules now: The Brits don’t want to see London's International Petroleum Exchange get wiped out by Iranian competition.

Okay, We Didn't Start the Fire, It's the End of the World as We Know It (and I feel fine). Worlds collide and what can you do about it?

Hey, have any of you guys read Marjane Satrapi’s Persepolis? It’s about a girl growing up and coming of age in Iran during the Islamic Revolution. Really good stuff.


Thursday, December 07, 2006

–And stranger still:

Looks like the dust up in Doha has emboldened diplomats everywhere, because now they are kicking ass at the UN, where they seem to be shitting out resolutions about as fast as they can, and all over the world. The National Security Council declares a trade embargo on the United States; OPEC switches to Euros; hundreds of millions of dollars worth of crude oil on its way to the Unites States is re-directed to CHINA!

Stupid diplomats are going to freeze themselves out of New York this winter and will have to move to St. Barts. Or maybe that's the plan.



Dollar Expected to Crash as U.S. Economy Heads for Tailspin

Wednesday, December 6, 2006

On the heels of India’s President Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam address to the United Nations on Monday, which resulted in the National Security Council declaring a trade embargo on the United States, OPEC announced a switch from U.S. Dollars to Euros, a move long supported by Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez Frias.

Venezuela is the only South American member of OPEC.

Chavez Frias’ tactics have until now given the US pretext to cold-shoulder the Venezuelan leader for supposed links with Cuba's Castro and Libya's Khadaffi. Now that OPEC is switching to the Euro, and with Pan Moslem Coalition forces said to be gathering in Puerto Cabello, Carabobo, the U.S. will likely do an about step and intensify diplomatic talks with their South American oil producing neighbor.

OPEC sources claim that Euro conversion across the Middle and Far East is the only logical step left to them to counteract the United States export of ‘Crusader culture’ around the world.

The currency switch will not in and of itself cause a disruption in America’s acquisition of oil, as sufficient Euros can be had in a simple banking transaction. What is more problematic is what effect the embargo will have on the U.S. economy, if both trade and petroleum are curtailed.

Point in case:

On the heels of the UN decision, two major shipping groups, Norwegian Odfjell SE group and Saudi Aramco-owned Vela International Marine have ordered more than 90 of their tankers combined to be redirected from US and European ports and instead turn to various points in Asia. Vela Supertanker Turais Star alone is said to be carrying $100 million in crude oil, and that is now destined for China.

Odfjell's president and chief executive Terje Storeng said: the re-routing by thousands of miles would be at a significant extra cost, but that his new customers expressed "support and contribution" exponentially above market prices in the west.

Another problem is that as the U.S. acquires Euros, the dollar will most certainly –and quite dramatically– decline against the EU currency. Some financial experts say it is even likely to crash, as the price at the pump jumps to well over five dollars a gallon. Trucking and Freight companies can be expected to be among the first to lay off employees, followed by subsequent spiral of goods and services throughout the economy.

International finance experts predict that as the dollar falls, lenders are most certainly going to want to dump the currency back in the US, thereby contributing to the crash, as banks simultaneously trade their dollars out for Euros.

Any blow to the American economy will of course produce a severe ripple effect across all international markets. However, financial reporters suggest Coalition member countries, lead by India, Indonesia and Malaysia began stockpiling Euros, shortly after the 7/27 attacks, as an important hedge in their foreign exchange reserves, perhaps anticipating this move earlier than any could have expected.

Another likely scenario is that with U.S. troops already on the ground in Iraq, the Americans will make a robust effort to maintain their current control of the oil fields there. Iraq’s reserves are estimated at between 113 and 200 billion barrels. Only Saudi Arabia is said to have more.

The currency switch, in tandem with global sanctions against the U.S., will mean it will become exceedingly difficult if not impossible for the United States to actually transfer any oil pumped out of the ground in Iraq, –indeed from any of America’s traditional energy suppliers– and get it back to North America.

To the west and north are Coalition partners Syriah, Jordan and Turkey; to the east is Iran, and to the South the Indian Ocean whose shipping lanes are currently held in check by ASEAN regional military forces, with supplementary, if limited, assistance by Gulf and African nations along their respective shores. However minimal, such aid has managed to defer burgeoning plans to establish a U.S. Africa Command to oversee military operations on the African continent.

The United States continues to have a strategic if nominal presence in the region, in the form of a manned military base on the atoll of Diego Garcia, located 1000 miles off India’s South Coast. Officially a supply station, the base also contains a satellite and communications facility. However, Coalition forces are said to have recently and effectively closed off naval and air access to the island and in fact are expected to assume control over the facility should tensions with the Americans further escalate.

It is apparent that moving forward the U.S. will have to fight for Iraqi oil in order to get it, but with troops holding off insurgencies in Afghanistan and Iraq, and America’s heretofore lack of a mandatory draft, experts say the Pentagon's available military reserves are spread quite thin.

The United States can certainly defend itself against one country –even several– but not against half the world, as now appears to be the case, and not while her traditional European and Pacific allies are suddenly claiming neutrality, despite NATO Agreements, in an obvious and some say practical attempt to protect their own energy supplies.

Russia's President Putin says the largess of the Muslim population in his country prevents him from pursing any action that can be construed as aiding those who harbor terrorist groups. Even American allies such as England and France are saying much the same thing.

Prime Minister Tony Blair, while Great Britain is not affected by the embargo, has nevertheless said his government will continue its push to secure new gas reserves, as much as can be locally produced, and thereby amplify green energy development.

Meanwhile, representatives from China’s embassy in Saudi Arabia say their country welcomes unfettered reserves.

Compound limited military resources; a severe shortage of costly fuel; a trade embargo and a stock market crash, and you have a perfect storm of distractions to keep the American Government busy enough to overlook a well fed, well fueled, well stocked and heavily manned military force pulling into a U.S. harbor, and then proceeding to hike up across the Appalachian mountain chain in what is excepted to be the largest and most expensive manhunt in human history, if it actually happens.

The United States has certainly prepared for a potential energy crisis, but U.S. strategic oil reserves only hold about 57 days of U.S. supply. If the U.S. cannot find a way out of this situation soon, it could be in big trouble and suffer a bitterly cold March in 2007.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

And things get stranger still–

Indian President Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam declares the United States' policy of imperialism' poses an "unrestricted and unwarrantable danger", and therefore asks the National Security Council to impose sanctions on the North American superpower. Might be otherwise be a laughable threat were it not for the fact that the United Kingdom has also announced it's kicking the Americans off Ascension Island in order to lease the airfield there to the Indonesian Air Force.




Tuesday, December 5, 2006

Amidst growing fear that an over extended U.S. military with troops in Afghanistan and Iraq will respond to international furor over its program of imperialism, by quashing the threat with its nuclear arsenal, President Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam of India on Monday delivered a dossier on American military capacity to the United Nations, telling world leaders at a UN General Assembly session of the "unrestricted and unwarrantable danger" posed by United States imperialism to sub-equatorial countries - or to stand aside as the Coalition allies act.

He called for multilateral action against the U.S., above and beyond the existing actions taken against terrorist compounds in Cyprus and Socotra earlier this year, and asked the National Security Council to impose sanctions on the North American superpower.

Abdul Kalam further revealed a new Extraordinary Extradition treaty hammered out by India, Indonesia and Malaysia, detailing the transfer of ‘Crusaders’ suspected to be involved in the planning or execution of terrorist plots against those nations to points thus far unknown. Abdul Kalam declared a spate of high profile global arrests were imminent.

Belgium, Cyprus, Denmark, France, Germany, Norway, Portugal, Spain, Switzerland and Turkey all say they will not prevent the Coalition Task Force from apprehending suspects who are confirmed members of PURE from their sovereign territory.

U.S. President Bush initially responded to the announcement by saying that he would welcome representatives of the Coalition to Washington to discuss how local US law enforcement might assist in the capture of Oliver Lowell. However, Vice President Cheney quickly retracted the offer, declaring any American assistance conditional “over his dead body.”

Likewise, Abdul Kalam stated the Coalition is intent to capture Oliver Lowell 'dead or alive', and wherever he may hide.

White House spokesperson Tony Snow called India and the other members of the predominantly Muslim Coalition “warmongers looking for any reason to usurp America’s dominance.”

Speaking from Jakarta, President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono of Indonesia called the American Government a threat to the stability of world peace, and further accused the United States of stock piling weapons of mass destruction to further its imperial reach.

South Africa’s President Thabo Mbeki, has also gotten himself into the fray with public statements indicating his belief that the inoculation against Anthrax by U.S. Armed forces was not so much to protect American soldiers from known enemies of democracy, but as a safeguard against infection in the event the Pentagon itself deemed the contagion a necessary tool in the advancement of American values throughout the world.

Meanwhile, across the Middle East Muslims continue to use the Abu Ghraib photos of U.S. military personnel humiliating Iraqi prisoners as proof that neither Bush nor his government has respect or sympathy for Islamic states, despite a personal history the U.S. President's family is reported to have had with prominent Saudi royals.

To date no authority figures have been prosecuted for the Abu Ghraib abuses.

On the heels of the Malaysian Prime Minister’s address to the Organization of the Islamic Conference (OIC), where he revealed a stepping up of military planning and execution in pursuit of Lowell and other ‘Crusaders’, Abdullah Ahmad Badawi today called for an embargo on the United States and much of the western world has apparently to decided to cooperate with little formal opposition rather than cause a potential disruption in the oil supply.

Amidst all this international bickering, the United Kingdom, claiming a new position of limited cooperation with the Coalition, has announced it shall lease facilities at Ascension Island to Coalition Military Forces, much to the dismay of the Americans who have until recently enjoyed joint use of Wideawake Airfield, located there.

Ascension Island (7.95°S, 14.37°W) is located in the middle of the Atlantic, where it was used to strategic effect by the British during the Falklands War.

On the other side of the world, and closer to home, India and Indonesia have made increased gains in an effort to close off all but a few shipping lanes in and around the South China Sea and the Coral Sea, and parts of the Indian Ocean, effectively strangling U.S. air and naval access to Guam, Diego Garcia and throughout the area, strategists say; as well as controlling the Strait of Malacca through which half the world's oil is shipped.

On a closing note, employees of the United Nations Delegates' Dining Room report overhearing U.N. Diplomats who represent OIC member nations call the 'French Fries', 'Inshaalha Frites', or 'God's Will fries'. This bit of hearsay has been confirmed by at least one Saudi diplomat who also says the phrase has more of ring to it when enunciated by a native speaker of Arabic.