Friday, July 21, 2006

Siraj, bro–


If the Lebanese are such a peaceful people, Siraj, why are they launching missiles into Israel right now?

I think you're getting all Arabian Nights on us. Must be the something they put in the curry down there. Or was The Economist the only mag available on that long flight across the Pacific? I mean, whoa, dude, your last demonstration reached a level of wonkery that is way more than I can process on a Friday.

In the meantime, Sinbad, maybe you're granddad wore a turban, but you don't. You're 2nd generation American -right? Me, too. You're mom is Irish or English, right? So it doesn't matter if your father was born in Beirut. First and foremost, you're a U.S. citizen before anything else. And don't take this the wrong way, either. I would never pit one religion against another. Cause I'm a lover, and not a fighter, and all that.

But here's the deal:

The Jews need Israel exactly because no one else on the planet will can assure the Jewish people security.

In this respect, I ask you to either remember or research the historical record, where you will find that not one hundred years ago, few extended welcome signs to Jews seeking refuge from 1930's Nazi Germany as particularly evidenced by the Evian conference of 1938. It's pretty evident to me that one of the reasons my people ended up in the desert was not so much because it was our 'the promised land', but specifically because were were not accepted anywhere else in the world.

It should also be INSANELY obvious that the reason why so many born again Christians here in America so strongly support Israel today, is because:

A) American Evangelists would rather that the Jews they know and love live 6000 miles away, and–

B) It wouldn't hurt if the existence of a Jewish state situated in the Mideast provoked some kind of apocalyptic event.

Well, so be it.

But isn't it funny how every Muslim neighbor to Israel denies her right to exist, and yet Iraq, Jordan, Palestine AND LEBANON are themselves western inventions.

So for the record, if Israel deserves to be "wiped off the map", as Ahmadinejad suggests it might be, then Beirut, Gaza and all the land from Madaba to Baghdad ought not be too far behind. Trust me, if it comes to that, the Rabbis are going to dig their fingernails into the West Bank and pull down all the last remnants of the Ottoman Empire with them, from Egypt to the Persian Gulf to Turkey. You'll see. And then the sand from Najran to Mashhad is going to fucking GLOW.

Happy to straighten out the Mideast situation for you, dude, and look, in half as many words. Guess that's why I'm the professional copy writer.

btw, anyone need to get in touch with me, send me a text message, because otherwise I'm delecato dementis for the next three days. It's not Khaldeh or Puncho Beach, Siraj, but probably has better waves, so I'm taking off for Montauk until Monday afternoon, and thinking about nothing but sunshine, moonshine and some knice wave action for the next 72 hours.

And bro, demonization of Christians, nice touch. Don't know what Annika will say about it though. Just be glad the world's biggest ocean separates the two of you right now.

And love the fucking poetry.

As usual, it's awesome.

Peace out-

The Jasp